i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You're a waste of cheezeits
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
