I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
