dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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