I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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