we're blogging at a bar
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Girls should come with a carfax report
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
