Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
