I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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