she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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