i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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