he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
