if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
