No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
