Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You can't motorboat a personality
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
