sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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