Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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