why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
