I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
