brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
