U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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