Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
