she looked like the before picture.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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