Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
