it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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