its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
