Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
