just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
