I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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