Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
