I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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