no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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