Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
