Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
