JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
