Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
