I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
40s are totally the cure
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
