That's intense
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
