You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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