I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
