Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
