you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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