I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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