i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I wear drunk well.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
