I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
