haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
not ubering you a puppy
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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