my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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