oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
