I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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