I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
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