I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
