it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
